Hannah Barczyk
On Being Vulnerable
Professor Lisa Stefanac, MBA ’09, and Santiago Vazquez Aldana Urrutia, MBA ’21, talk about the power of personal connections in navigating workplace challenges.
- By
- October 22, 2025
- Leadership
Professor Lisa Stefanac, MBA ’09, was struck by the way Santiago Vazquez Aldana Urrutia, MBA ’21, showed up as a student in her Interpersonal Dynamics course. The two have remained connected since. Vazquez is now director of customer experience at Chicago-based Oncourse Home Solutions. Stefanac, clinical professor of leadership and cofounder and CEO of consultancy KSE Leadership, and Vazquez got together to talk about where his journey has taken him since graduation.
Lisa Stefanac: What brought you to Booth was a decision to switch careers. Share a little bit more about that choice.
Santiago Vazquez Aldana Urrutia: The business world was not entirely new to me. In my previous job, I was a business lawyer drafting commercial agreements—if that’s not business, I don’t know what is! I found myself more interested in the creational aspect of business and in the commercial relationships than being part of the more binding aspects that the legal side can foster.
I understand the need for lawyers and legal advice and following laws—all are an essential part of a functioning society. For my personal attributes and in my personal desires, though, it was more interesting to be asking: How do we make things work? How do we innovate? How do we explore what’s possible?
I made the conscious decision that with the switch, I wanted to also shift my entire set of paradigms, including by moving to a city where I knew nothing and no one so I could study the business world with a blank slate. I really needed that, and I have not regretted that decision even once.
Stefanac: By doing that, you created a turning point for yourself. Four years now out of business school, what are you learning about what it takes to be a leader?
Vazquez: There is a risk of complacency in formal management roles, I think. I want to exert influence in a way that’s inspiring, to lead from the perspective of “We have a broader purpose.” I tell this to my team all the time. A lot of that requires discovery. It requires spending time with team members to understand how they go about their job but also what their personal reasons are for being here and doing what they do.
Stefanac: That’s not always easy. You told me about a difficult moment you experienced while you were at McKinsey, a few years after you graduated. What did you choose to do? And what did that experience teach you about yourself and about leadership?
Vazquez: This was during an eight-week project that was a lot tougher than I had anticipated. I was struggling to understand what was expected of me. The final feedback session with my manager was difficult—and yet ultimately enriching. I told her, “I really struggled through this process. I want you to know that you helped me a lot. And also, there were things you did that made me feel like absolute garbage. And I need you to know these things.”
With the tools I had learned in our Interpersonal Dynamics class, I had the ability to articulate exactly how I was feeling in the moment that the actions took place, and then how I was feeling as I was expressing that. It was a moment of real connection with my manager and a point of enormous vulnerability.
As I reflect on leadership, I recognize the value of having those moments of vulnerability, of influencing someone else, even if that person is your manager and supposed to be the leader—and she was, and yet there was that moment when I needed to say, “Something that you did really had an impact on me. And I care about you, and about your development. And I care that this doesn’t happen to anyone else, including you. And here’s how it impacted me.” It was a really difficult conversation.
Stefanac: There’s a notion that vulnerability is weakness, but in fact there are key leadership moments when it’s important to be vulnerable. Can you share a little bit more about how she received your message?
Vazquez: She paused, and then she said that she knew exactly what I was talking about. She sincerely apologized when she realized the impact that she had had, and I believed her. It allowed for this exchange of saying, “This was my intent. And I see now that it had a very different impact than that.” It was a moment of true connection.
Ultimately, consulting turned out not to be my lifelong path, but she and I connected a few more times, even after I left McKinsey. It’s a relationship that would probably still be meaningful if I wished to rekindle it.
“I’ll admit it’s hard to listen, and I don’t always do it well. But when I do, that is when I can start developing trust.”
— Santiago Vazquez Aldana Urritia
Stefanac: When you can deliver difficult, constructive feedback, a stronger relationship is possible on the other side that’s not possible if you were to ignore or avoid the situation. Have you been in the other position, too, of receiving a tough piece of feedback, and how did that change you?
Vazquez: Absolutely. Also at McKinsey, I was an associate working with a new intern. It was my first informal manager role there. Everybody was running around, paying him no mind, and I said to him, “I’ll show you the ropes.” At some point, maybe two weeks in, this person pulled me aside and was like, “Hey. I’m really nervous to tell you this. When you’re giving me feedback on my work, it sparks anxiety and makes me think I need to spend hours upon hours perfecting it. And it’s getting to the point where I’m reeling at 2 in the morning, and I don’t know what to do.”
I was stunned. I had no idea I was having this impact. I distinctly remember what happened next because it seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders. Even before I responded to the feedback, I said, “How do you feel after sharing that? I can’t imagine that was easy.”
He said, “I feel better now that I told you, but I’m curious for your answer.”
I replied, “The first thing I have to say is thank you for telling me, because I had no idea this was happening. And the second thing I can say is: Let’s problem-solve it. The last thing I want is for you to be reeling at 2 a.m. over something that could be minor. I want to make sure to give the appropriate dimension to the feedback that I give you. More importantly, it’s so critical that you told me, because now I can do something about it.”
I realized the value of listening as a way to build trust. I later got the feedback that when he accepted a return offer, it was in no small measure because of those four weeks that I had spent shepherding him through the welcome experience, and that meant a lot to me.
What I did right was make the space to say, “How do you feel after sharing?” and then to say, “Let’s talk this out.”
I make sure to remember that moment as an example for myself of how to handle feedback the right way, because I know it won’t always be so straightforward.
Stefanac: I also want to acknowledge that he couldn’t have opened up and shared that feedback if you hadn’t already established a relationship. I imagine that was something you were implementing with him in the early days. It’s like building an emotional bank account so that when something irks or pinches, it can provide a doorway through which to address it.
You’ve shared with me in one of our past conversations that building trust is something you value in a leader, and that listening is one way you do that. Tell me more about what that means to you.
Vazquez: I’ve been able to build trust most effectively when I actively listen. It’s a powerful starting point that results in the ability to follow up—to ask and answer questions openly. It allows you to maintain closeness, to show care, to be there for someone when they are asking something of you, or when they are eager to share something.
I’ll admit it’s hard to listen, and I don’t always do it well. But when I do, that is when I can start developing trust.
When I bring an agenda, or when I bring a limited scope or limited objective, it’s harder to listen. It’s harder to listen when I’m distracted by things outside of what I’m supposed to be doing in the moment. But when I’m listening actively from a place of empathy and openness, it builds the foundations of trust. The realization that building trust results in effective leadership has come in handy. I’ve had really challenging work relationships, but I’ve also had really meaningful work relationships.
Stefanac: There’s a thread throughout here of the power of relationships—building them and maintaining them—of being both leader and guide. Thank you for walking the talk, Santiago, and for opening up and sharing your stories.