The Freedom to End Relationships Is a Key to Happiness
People in more ‘relationally mobile’ societies are happier than those in cultures with more fixed relationships.
- By
- June 26, 2025
- CBR - Behavioral Science
Good relationships are key to a happy life. Research consistently finds a link between social connections and well-being.
However, while relationships are important, so is the freedom to end them, according to Chicago Booth’s Thomas Talhelm and a team of researchers. People in more “relationally mobile” societies—places where residents start and end relationships as they please—are happier than those in cultures with more fixed relationships, they find.
Relational mobility varies around the world, as a variety of past work has established. In much of East Asia, North Africa, and the Middle East, relationships are more stable, formed with people who are unlikely to leave or relocate.
By contrast, many places in the West and Latin America—including Brazil, Mexico, Sweden, and the United States—have higher relational mobility. People there make relationship choices according to circumstance, choice, and personal preference. They tend to move more, and they are more accepting of divorce and job changes, which means they start and end relationships more freely.
To find out what this has to do with happiness, the researchers surveyed nearly 23,000 people in China. Respondents rated their satisfaction with their own lives, as well as the relational mobility of their communities—for example, they shared how much they agreed with statements including, “They (people in my immediate society) have many chances to get to know other people.” Residents of prefectures with higher relational mobility proved happier, even after the researchers accounted for differences in income, urbanization, and other factors.
There’s value in social flexibility
Across 34 societies, the research finds that people in cultures with higher relational mobility—the freedom to form and leave relationships—tended to report higher satisfaction with their lives.
The pattern holds beyond China. The researchers’ surveys of almost 75,000 people in 34 other societies around the globe produced the same finding.
These results suggest a correlation between happiness and relational mobility, but the researchers wanted to determine if there was a causal relationship. They surveyed new students at 13 Chinese universities, following up with them three years later. Students who moved for college to places with higher relational mobility became happier over time, which hints at causality.
The researchers have a few theories. In areas with high relational mobility, it’s easier for newcomers to make friends. Beyond that, relational mobility allows people to befriend others with similar interests and characteristics, a phenomenon known as homophily. If someone’s interests change, they can end those relationships and make friends with people who share their new interests, the researchers posit.
People in relationally mobile cultures report getting more social support from their friends, and reciprocate it. They tend to be less suspicious of others. Relatedly, they’re more likely to share personal details with companions, which leads to greater intimacy.
And if they do find themselves in a relationship with a person they dislike or distrust, they have the freedom to leave—whereas people in low-mobility cultures are often stuck.
In other research, Talhelm has observed low relational mobility in places where rice farming is prevalent. Growing rice requires intense interdependence and coordination, so people in these areas need to be able to count on each other, even if they don’t necessarily like each other. (For more, read “What rice farming can teach us about happiness.”)
He views low relational mobility as a survival mechanism of sorts. Having fixed, stable relationships tends to be the norm in cultures with lots of threats, which might include natural disasters, conflicts, or disease. The strong bonds likely help communities get through challenging times. In those instances, happiness may be less of a priority. “We’ve defined the goal as happiness,” says Talhelm, referring to the parameters of these studies, “but there are other goals in life.”
- Robert Thomson, Masaki Yuki, Thomas Talhelm, Joanna Schug, Mie Kito, Arin H. Ayanian, Julia C. Becker, Maja Becker, Chi-yue Chiu, Hoon-Seok Choi, Carolina M. Ferreira, Marta Fülöp, Pelin Gul, Ana Maria Houghton-Illera, Mihkel Joasoo, Jonathan Jong, Christopher M. Kavanagh, Dmytro Khutkyy, Claudia Manzi, Urszula M. Marcinkowska, Taciano L. Milfont, Félix Neto, Timo von Oertzen, Ruthie Pliskin, Alvaro San Martin, Purnima Singh, and Mariko L. Visserman, “Relational Mobility Predicts Social Behaviors in 39 Countries and Is Tied to Historical Farming and Threat,” Psychological and Cognitive Sciences, June 2018.
- Liuqing Wei, Alexander Scott English, Thomas Talhelm, Yan Zhang, Xuyun Tan, Jiong Zhu, and Junxiu Wang, “People in Relationally Mobile Cultures Report Higher Well-Being,” Emotion, April 2025.
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