When I talk about my summer internship in consulting, people picture me glamorously flying across the country, solving companies’ toughest problems, hobnobbing with senior management and staying in swanky hotels. I am not going to lie – I did many of these things, but the majority of my time was unglamorously spent hunched over a laptop in a conference room. Long-hours with the same four consultants for weeks at a time can lead to some pretty interesting conversations. Below I’ve included a selection of my team’s best discussions.
Consultant 1: “If there is an after life, I will have to pay for it."
Me: “Why is that?”
Consultant 1: “I’ve sent so many tedious Powerpoint jobs to our visual graphics department. I am sure that the Devil uses those jobs to torture people in the rings of hell.”
Consultant 2: “That was a long meeting. It’s time for a quick break. Have you ever seen Berlusconi picking his nose?”
Consultant 2: “There’s a YouTube video of the former President of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, picking his nose and eating it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt7pNgfscNg). Let’s watch!”
Consultant 3: “How tall do you think someone needs to be to be classified as a little person?”
Me: “It’s 4’10’’. My grandmother is 4’11’’ and jokes that she is just one inch shy.”
Consultant 3: “No way. Your grandmother is WRONG! (elevating his voice and pointing his finger at me as he says this).”
Me: “Google says you’re WRONG! (after I verified that 4’10’’ is the correct height classification).”
Consultant 3: “What’s the capital of Montana?”
Consultant 1: “That’s an easy question to answer… it’s Helena.
(He proceeds to sing the Animaniacs State Capitols Song)
Baton Rouge, Louisiana; Indianapolis, Indiana
And Columbus is the capital of Ohio
There's Montgomery, Alabama, south of Helena, Montana
Then there's Denver, Colorado, under Boise, Idaho.”
Me: “How do you know that?”
Consultant 1: “My mother played the Animaniacs soundtrack in the car when I was a kid”
Consultant 4: “I love this chart. It’s a double waterfall. This chart is going be my legacy at the Firm. I will go down in history for creating this chart.”
Me: “It’s like a double rainbow. Have you seen the “Double Rainbow” video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQSNhk5ICTI)? Oh my god. All the way. It’s a double waterfall all the way. OOOOOOHHH WOW. OOOOOOOOOOHH MY GOD. What does this mean?”